Monday, October 04, 2004

Ode to October

At this moment I am nestled on our comfy, ugly couch with The Little Beast, a glass of lemonade, and a slice of pumpkin pie. I am feeling cleansed after a shower, which followed an invigorating 3 mile run. I simply could not be happier.

October is the most wondrous month of the year--the leaves change, the air freshens and causes those little roses to bloom in your cheeks, and of course it's the height of cross-country season, which I suppose now makes me somewhat sad. At the same time, though, as I said before, running on a team is a thing of the past. Well enough now to simply remember the rustle of feet through leaves and their sharp, dusty smell. The jokes and stories of everyone from Meredith to Amanda Bell to dear, lost Daniel Faulkner, to Margaret, Michelle, Hannah and Ellie. The feel of cold air burning your throat during a hard workout. The feel of flying.

I still have bits of that, and although there will always be, I think, a certain yearning for cross country, I am happy now running on my own and sometimes with Michelle. Yesterday's run, an 8-miler on a gravel road off Old State Road 37, was one of the best I've had. The sun was beginning to set, and the sky was brilliant blue, an azure unblemished by any clouds. The trees now are smudged with hints of fire. The running here, if anything, reminds me of running in New Hampshire. In fact, I've heard that the leaves close by, in Brown County, come close to rivalling the fall foliage of New England. I drive through Brown County on my way to Clarksville. What I want to do is go running there, or maybe take my camera there and get some pictures. Something I feel pretty rotten about is that since I've been here, which is now getting to be almost four months, I have not taken out the camera. Definitely need to do so very soon, and just go out to experience some nature and hopefully capture it in the only way I can think of that won't damage it.

In more mundane news, I am relieved because a research assignment I thought was due tomorrow is actually due Thursday. It's mostly done. Yessssss. =)

Yes. All in all, despite the things one might think would make me sad, I guess in truth I am happy. I do miss Mark more than anything, but perhaps now the ache is lessening because he'll be at the marathon, which is now in less than a week. Had sort of a ridiculous weekend in that regard. We've been together long enough that we're both somewhat taking things for granted, me especially, I'm afraid. We've been picking over this idea that somewhere along the line he's become more unable to confide his problems in me, mostly because I, well, complain a lot. He claims he's got no real problems and even said something quite cute: "I have no problems because I have you." Still, it must be a problem that I keep freaking out. Shit. Soooo. Long story short, he's going to try to open back up and I'm going to stop sucking. Things are now back to normal, although it's hard to tell with him if things are okay or if he's just saying they're okay.

Guess it's time to read some more law...yay...


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