Monday, November 08, 2010

What Now? Syndrome: The aftermatch and new beginnings, I hope

Anyone who has read this blog for a while has probably come to expect long silences, but seriously, I have got to be the worst blogger ever!

In my defense: I was basically gone for the month of July--vacation in Maine, wedding in Iowa, Red Eye Relay, etc. Then we adopted this guy:

Then it was super hot and I couldn't motivate myself to run. Then the busy season at work started. It's still not quite over, but I have some breathing space now. Running has been completely derailed. For a lot of that time, I just didn't WANT to run. Even with Rudy, the new pup, who at 1.5 years of age is a bundle of energy and loves to run, I just wasn't getting out there very often. Then when the desire started to come back, I began to spend all my waking hours working. I ran only a handful of times in October, and November didn't get off to a great start either.

Now I WANT to run and just CAN'T, many days. I stare hungrily at people running while I'm driving to work. I ran my tune-up half (which was to be a NYQ attempt) in 1:49. I switched my fall marathon (which was to be a sub-3:30 attempt) to the half, and ran it in 1:58 (which is pretty good considering I wasn't sure if I could finish!). I just want to be (relatively) fast again. I miss that pleasant tired feeling (it has been replaced with unpleasant mental exhaustion). The only PR I set in the latter half of this year is that for working the most hours in one day (17). I know that 2010 isn't over, but, well, as far as running is concerned, it is and GOOD RIDDANCE.

I shouldn't complain. I do have a job (actually I have about three; I just get paid for one--ha), I have a wonderful husband and a rambunctious pup who makes our lives...interesting, I have a great house to which we did a ton of work this summer and fall (I hope to update the house blog with photos soon). But life just feels empty without running, without post-run brunches, and without raw, sweat-stung patches of chafe on my chest and legs. My brain feels like it's in a fog, and I know it's not JUST from lack of sleep and subsisting on coffee and junk food.

I think I suffered from What Now? Syndrome after Boston, as well as plain old burnout. It reminds me of the beginning of my running renaissance back in 2006-2007, when I had to remind myself that this is supposed to be FUN.

So here's a good thing: I am registered for Boston 2011. Goals? No idea. I don't know what's realistic at this point. I need to see how fast my fitness comes back once I actually get into running again. I am thinking either 3:30 (probably not), 3:40 (re-BQ--or at least until they lower the standards--gulp), or 3:50 (course PR). Boston is going to be fun--we'll have a bit of a Bloomington contingent going next year.

For now, I just need to run run run, and hope I can find time to do it.
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